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Faith doesnt come easy living a life screaming inwardly. your told that one day people will come along that will love you for you and never leave you behind like so many before. but then again thats what you thought about people before, their loving words of forever and nothing ever breaking you apart.how do you know the truth in what people say when it all seems so similiar? so you take a shot now and again and motherfuck it happens again and your left sitting there feeling hollow. not the first time theat feeling has come, and you know it will not be the last. so you swallow deep and try to get by, all the while you hear those screams inside. abandoned.. youve prett well seen all there is to see on that subject in your life havent you. A family that would rather give you a handful of cash and send you on your way without a word than say something to you, give you a hug and let you know they love you. youve been in love before but its hard to trust when so many times youve been on the short end of that stick they tell you nothing is wrong but you can feel it, that same familiar feeling. so you begin to look at the world with dull listless eyes. long since abandoned of heart you found a muffle to those screaming cries. sitting at the center of the labyrinth of emotional walls youve built since youth your not really sure what makes you you.do you know who you are? or have you been scarred so many times its hard to seperate the person from the pain. you watch for the signs of it it everyone you meet now, knowing eventually they will hurt you. and they do... becuase you push them away unthinkingly showing them that indeed you do have barriers that will never be broken. so they give in, they decide that if you cannot trust them then thats not going to make for a relationship/friendship/ect. so you find yourself alone again abandoned but by your own design this time. and you feel relieved in it. knowing that this pain and emptiness you feel is desered. that your pain is there for a reason, that it makes you who you are. how many chances does the world deserve? or should you quit altogether, save yourself another headache...